I have struggled with my weight my entire life. As a child I was happily overweight. I didn’t know it was a problem. I was blessed to have friends who didn’t exclude me because of my weight. I’ve only known life as an obese person. As I look forward to a life with Kylie, I want to live differently. I want to be healthy, and I have told Kylie that I will be 210 lbs. by our wedding day.
As I am writing this article, I am far from my goal. I need to lose 55 lbs. in less than 5 months. I’m not too sure if I’ll keep my promise to Kylie, but I do want make progress toward a healthier life.
There are a couple things I know that I need to work through. (1) I have a complicated relationship with food. I stress eat. When I am stressed out I can eat a whole Costco pizza by myself. Part of my journey to health is finding better coping mechanisms. I need to develop healthier ways to destress. (2) I am afraid of being hungry. When I am hungry, it feels like a black hole forms in my stomach, sucks all my energy away and spits out frustration. On my journey to health, I am exploring Matthew 4:4, Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'” Yes, food fills our stomachs; it provides vital nutrients for our body. But God’s word sustains us and leads us to thrive mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. (3) I lack self-control and discipline. I feel as though I understand what foods are healthy and unhealthy but I cannot stop myself from eating. I also have difficulty sticking with a diet or exercise program. I find that I easily get discouraged when I don’t see progress or face setbacks. My journey to health includes letting my “yes” be “yes” and my “no” be “no.” I need to stick with my commitments and see them through to the end. I need to learn perseverance.
These are some of the hurdles in my weight loss journey. I pray that this time will be a successful attempt. I am very motivated. I have an awesome lifelong partner who is willing to deal with my “hangriness” (hungry + angry = hangry). God has led me to a woman who is patient, kind, and I trust her love – it is a safe love.
I am planning a second annual Penny A Step. It is a fundraiser where I get to walk around a college campus and pray for one hour. The goal is to form a holistically healthy lifestyle: physical and spiritual. Last year I took 7355 steps in one hour on the UCSD campus. I walked 3.49 miles. This year I am planning to do another walk at a campus near me.